"Here's my struggle:
"All my life I have always been 'the good one.' I have tried to make good choices and have never strayed far off 'the path.' My life was pretty good, until I was confronted with an awful truth: Life is not fair.
"Sometimes we have to suffer the consequences of other people's action, through no fault of our own. Because of the free agency of others, I now find myself as a single mother to four young children. I find myself as the one who has to go to work to earn the money, the one who must do the work around the house and maintain the house, the one who needs to guide and teach my children in what they need to know and how they should act and treat others, the one who has to make sure the kids have everything they need, the one who tries to somehow make up for a huge void of a father-figure in their lives, and in my free time, still find time to have a life myself.
"It's not fair. My life is not fair. And I'm mad about it. I'm angry inside that I find myself in a situation that I did not cause. I had no control over this. And it's not fair. I'm angry at the man who promised and covenanted to be my companion and failed. And I don't want to forgive him. Right now I WANT to be angry. I know that one day I will need to forgive him. Not for him, but for me. But today, I'm okay being angry.
"Life is not a pretty picture that we paint. Life is full of ugly brush strokes. Today all I see are the ugly brush strokes destroying the beautiful picture I had painted for myself. I only hope that one day, those brush strokes will turn into a masterpiece."