"I will be the first to admit I am a slow learner. I believe that I can do things on my own—my own way. For as long as I can remember, I have felt the need to 'save' others. If I see an injustice, I feel obligated to go in headfirst and fix it.
"I was recently taught a difficult lesson. In my attempt to 'save' a little girl in the foster care system, my husband and I brought her into our home and our hearts. We both felt very strongly that we were doing the right thing. We prayed about it, fasted about it, and prayed some more. At no point did we think this would be easy, but we also were blinded as to just how difficult it would prove to be.
"After struggling for 2 ½ months to make this difficult situation transition into a peaceful solution for all involved, we came to the heartbreaking decision that it was just not possible. I felt like a complete failure. I had been entrusted to care for this little girl, who for no fault of her own, had been dealt a horrible hand in life. Not only had she suffered, but our children had now suffered, and our relationships had suffered. I questioned why my Heavenly Father would lead our family down this destructive path. Why had we felt so strongly that we were supposed to do this, when it brought us to this point?
"Once I allowed myself some time to grieve for what could have been, I realized I had my answer. This little girl needed to be removed from the dire situation she was in. We were a temporary resting place while the family she was meant to be with became available. Things happen for a reason, one that often times I do not understand.
"Our family is still trying to dig out from all the chaos that was created in those few short months, but I do believe that our prayers were answered, and continue to be answered; not as I would have hoped, but as our Heavenly Father knew was necessary."