"We have been trying to have another baby for a really long time, like years now. Some days I deal fine with other people's baby news, then there are other days—days when I hear someone has fallen pregnant unexpectedly and is annoyed by such an 'inconvenience.' This sends me scurrying to look for General Conference quotes to get me through without my turning snarky and feeling hard done by. I truly understand we each have our own unique trials; the startling difference between she who has but doesn't want, and my pleading with God to fill my belly, is stark yet plain.
"I know we’ll have a baby come to us, God has promised me that. Like Joseph Smith I know it and cannot deny it. Not knowing when sufficient time has passed on God’s calendar is the current challenge. Smiling for others, buying shower and new baby gifts, and sympathizing with all the aches and pains of friend's pregnancies can take their toll on me emotionally. Please don't misunderstand; this doesn't mean that I can't empathise and feel happiness for others, just that there are some days when it's harder to wrap up that tiny onesie and give it away. I'd rather take it clean from the washing line and tuck it into a drawer in readiness.
"However I won’t be beaten into twisted bitterness by jealousy, sadness, my fleeting assumed injustice, or other peoples perky, 'Oh it hasn’t happened for you yet? Oh well keep trying!' *wink* comments. I’ll remain faithful and run for those General Conference quotes whenever I need to so I can hold my chin parallel to the ground and endure this well.
"I know my Heavenly Mother must surely be near lifting my chin a little with her soft hand, whispering comfort and faith to my spirit while I slumber. And I trust she is ushering the fresh spirit of our baby through it’s preparations to come and join us at some future time, born into the covenant, never to be parted again."